At work talking to Strawberry Shortcake. Hear the front door open. Look up to acknowledge the customer. Smile and say hello. Oh no. Don't swear out loud. Face falls for half a second. Don't react violently, just fake a smile. Fighting off fainting. Phone rings. Thank heavens, saved by the phone. "Great Western Supply, how can I help you?" Strawberry asking what she can do for him. He says he wants to look at the show room. He turns around. Deep breath. He didn't recognize me. Thank you Clairol Prefect 10 and Heatmaster flatiron. Shaking so bad it's hard to stand up. Almost run back to the warehouse. Look at the garbage can. Think about throwing up. Would that make it feel better? Lean against the counter. Can't breathe. Counter guys looking at me funny. What will make me feel better? Call Jij. She'll know what to do. Talking makes me have to breathe. Hiding in the warehouse. Talk to jij a minute. Can't keep hiding. Have to go back up front... Don't pass out....
All of that in the space of about 3 minutes.
Remember AJB? How I've been missing him lately? Well, that still stands. I still miss him. However, I have not missed his father, "Mr. B". Mr. B and I were on good terms for maybe 20 percent of the nearly 5 years. the other 80% we were barely civil or flat out at odds. He did not care for me. He told AJB he should stop seeing me because I would have to be unstable and insane to be dating AJB, much less be so patient with him, and that I should be admitted to a psych ward. Which, if said in the right circumstances may have been somewhat humorous. But he was... is... serious. He blames me for a lot of AJB's issues. He blames ME for AJB's addictions. How is it my fault he is a porn addict? He was like that before I met him. If anything, I gave him hope. I helped him break the chains long enough for him to be worthy of the preisthood (at least for a while), long enough for him to get his patriarchal blessing. Not that I am trying to sing my own praises here or anything, but I was GOOD for him. Sometimes I think my family and I were the only ones who really cared about his wellbeing. It has been said by more than one person close to me that AJB's parents only blame me because they don't want to address their own failings as parents. I would have to agree... but we won't get into that just now. Well, any further anyway.
Guess who showed up in my showroom today? Mr. B.
Universe:1 Sarahjane:0
I was not prepared for that. Nor was I prepared for how much it affected me. I felt physically ill. I barely kept it together. After I came back into the office, he recognized me and made polite small talk. But (and maybe this is my overcharged emotions talking) it felt strained. I saw something in his eyes. Something not remotely friendly.
And I had forgotten how much AJB looks like him. I wasn't prepared for that painful reminder either.
Universe: 2, Sarahjane: 0.
Congratulations Universe, you win. This round. But this is just one round. I have plenty of time to get back at the universe.
My blood pressure still feels high, but that's nothing a Diet Coke and some chocolate won't fix.
Hm, I have a Normandie fruit tart at home...
Universe: 2 Sarahjane: 1
Getting there...(ps thanks for the quote jij ;)
All of that in the space of about 3 minutes.
Remember AJB? How I've been missing him lately? Well, that still stands. I still miss him. However, I have not missed his father, "Mr. B". Mr. B and I were on good terms for maybe 20 percent of the nearly 5 years. the other 80% we were barely civil or flat out at odds. He did not care for me. He told AJB he should stop seeing me because I would have to be unstable and insane to be dating AJB, much less be so patient with him, and that I should be admitted to a psych ward. Which, if said in the right circumstances may have been somewhat humorous. But he was... is... serious. He blames me for a lot of AJB's issues. He blames ME for AJB's addictions. How is it my fault he is a porn addict? He was like that before I met him. If anything, I gave him hope. I helped him break the chains long enough for him to be worthy of the preisthood (at least for a while), long enough for him to get his patriarchal blessing. Not that I am trying to sing my own praises here or anything, but I was GOOD for him. Sometimes I think my family and I were the only ones who really cared about his wellbeing. It has been said by more than one person close to me that AJB's parents only blame me because they don't want to address their own failings as parents. I would have to agree... but we won't get into that just now. Well, any further anyway.
Guess who showed up in my showroom today? Mr. B.
Universe:1 Sarahjane:0
I was not prepared for that. Nor was I prepared for how much it affected me. I felt physically ill. I barely kept it together. After I came back into the office, he recognized me and made polite small talk. But (and maybe this is my overcharged emotions talking) it felt strained. I saw something in his eyes. Something not remotely friendly.
And I had forgotten how much AJB looks like him. I wasn't prepared for that painful reminder either.
Universe: 2, Sarahjane: 0.
Congratulations Universe, you win. This round. But this is just one round. I have plenty of time to get back at the universe.
My blood pressure still feels high, but that's nothing a Diet Coke and some chocolate won't fix.
Hm, I have a Normandie fruit tart at home...
Universe: 2 Sarahjane: 1
Getting there...(ps thanks for the quote jij ;)
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